Workplace Mandates Attendance at All-Day ‘Town Hall’ on 100 Degree Day in Building With No AC

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I really hate corporate culture.

I don't even know how to explain how stupid this is. Work just told us we're required to be at this "town hall + team building company picnic" from 8 AM to 5 PM. Literally the entire day. And it's supposed to be 100+ degrees and under a heat advisory starting Tuesday. Not "warm." Not "hot." Straight-up dangerous.
And the building we'll be in? No AC. Just box fans. BOX. FANS. They actually said, "You can bring something from home to keep yourself cool." Like... what do they think I have at home? A personal snow machine? A giant industrial fan? Should I drag my fridge behind me and sit inside it during the trust-fall portion of the day?
And of course they want business casual. Because nothing screams "team building" like sweating through dress clothes while pretending to enjoy forced activities no one asked for. I'm so sick and tired of this place. Every time I think they can't possibly come up with something more ridiculous, they do. Now they want us to spend an entire day basically slow-cooking ourselves for "morale."
I'm over it. I'm exhausted. I'm done.

Commenters gave their sympathies and ideas on how to handle this.

high_throughput You can bring something from home to keep yourself cool. Beer it is
dachloe Sounds like that company needs leadership building, not team building.
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Poundaflesh Pretend to pass out, say it's the heat.
Vaaliindraa Should have asked if they will have EMS onsite.
LikelySoutherner And if you don't show up, you will be unofficially reviewed as "not a team player" and that will be reflected in your pay increases and/or their layoff decisions
captcha_fail I'm going to be sick this day. I wouldn't show up. I got that lettuce parasite or whatever that's going around. Yup, sorry- bad spinach. Can't make it, guys. Have fun everyone. I look forward to hearing about it.
Kenny_Z I'd be tempted to eat a bunch of food that does not sit well in hot weather and reenact that horrible scene in Stand by Me. Embarrassing? Sure but getting to leave early and then probably taking that following week off without anyone questioning it? Priceless.
ConsultantForLife A light backpack with two frozen water bottles that sit on the middle of your back can be a life saver in the heat. They last a long time too.
tamesis982 I would legit pass out in these conditions. I take a medication that makes me heat sensitive. My body is not able to regulate temperature. Put me in a building without A/C and I will be on the floor. Summer is SUCH a fun season - I am stuck inside for months.
BOsm3r there was a citric acid - home science recipe someone posted on reddit awhile back, basically homemade emergency cooling packs. sounds like they might come in handy here. but f ____ this for real. what the f people are d_ng kim. corpo culture is insane. giving us all zoochosis, s2g
TulsaOUfan Is this during the workday, or your day off? Are you being paid?
asyouwish I worked at a place that did this. We did this stuff several times a year. It was a giant waste of time every time. I still hate that stupid Director and his beeotch of an AD. Kevin and Monica, you two can h I. At least they both got removed by the next VP.
bopperbopper Go to HR and say that you wanna go to the TEAM building but you're on medication's that are affected with heat and what accommodations are they providing?

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